Thursday, September 27, 2007

How much affection is too much? or too little? If I can freeze time.......!! Who wants to be a Rocket scientist?

Love you Dad!... Love you Mom!... Love my boys!....Love my honey!.... who loves his boys?, who loves his girl?!.......If some one eaves drop around our home these phrases are flying around intermittently almost every few minutes when we are home. Call us loonies but we are a bunch of people who don't hide our affection for one another. That keeps the home fun and relaxed.

Consider this... I grew up in a household where affection was rarely shown and it was also considered that if you too much affection to your kids they will get spoiled and take advantage of you. I disagree....if you have love and affection ..show it.......else how is the other person going to know?, especially if they are little kids. It only makes them more secure and strong.

I was 16 years old when I left home for college, My sister was 10, brothers were 8 and 6 respectively. For me that age is frozen in time and I still see my little siblings as the little kids that they were.. If course I do not treat like them, they are all grown up adults now. Sometimes I call my two boys Aji and Manu, my brothers nicknames........out of habit from 25+ years ago. I happily took them under my wings and proudly looked after them.

Our kids are 5 and 7 and there are times when I wish I could freeze time and keep them that way for ever...that is selfish of me....they have to grow up and experience everything like everybody else. But it is that age where they are innocent, look up to us as we are superheroes ( mom and dad) and we can make anything better with a little kiss and a hug. My 2 boys' bed are occupied all the time by Barry the bear, blue the little dog, Mooomu the big dog, Moosie the Moose(deer), Snaky the teddy bear, Kiki the tiger, Dino the dinosuar and "Pup Pillai" Vinny newest hand puppet. OK, now you know that these are all stuffed animal toys. Also, their best friends, when they feel sick or sad, they find comfort with these dudes.

Soon they will pass this stage, resistence and independence is going to slowly break out in their dimension and things are going to change. I guess we have to keep a sane head and take one day at a time. Show them appreciation and teach values as you would want them to appreciate life. Easier said than done with today's dynamic world where things are changing at such a fast pace and peer pressure to top that.

We all want our kids to succeed, but is it right to contantly push them?......where is the limit? where is the fine line when encouragement becomes a nag? my older son wants to be a fireman when he grows up and save lifes and fight fires. the younger one wants to be a garbage truck driver with his best buddy Chris as the garbage picker who tosses garbage into the truck. when i was a little boy I wanted to be the school bus driver, as he was some one with a lot of authority and power. Here we have parents encouraging and enrolling their kids at tender ages to participate in academic programs which are above and beyond the normal curriculum. Is it absolutely necessary to do that? I would rather have a child who is happy, secure, aware, and street smart. Also some one who is a strong team player with good leadership qualities, when required. A healthy body also helps a healthy mind. Get good grades but also understand the concept and context during the learning process.

You...dear reader.....anything you wanna say? agree with me? no? Say something.....will ya?

1 comment:

Nappinnai said...

Hey, I liked yours. What a trajedy nobody wrote any comment to a nice article! I whole-heartedly agree with you in expressing love & affection. Who knows when death will stare at us. We should enjoy life to the fullest with no fakeness & hypocricy. I just accidently came across yours and its a very good read. It looks like you're truly thinking guy. Who partitions and puts a limit to the mind except we ourselves. We have to change our thought process itself so that every work whether garbage pick-up, janitor, firefighter or any academic jobs bring happiness when one truly loves what one does. Many people say they love their jobs. Will they still love if money stops coming? Einstein loved doing Physics whether money was there or not. Infact b'coz of lack of money, his marriage too a detour and he was given divorce on a condition that if he ever won Nobel Prize, half the money would go to his wife as alimony!

Keep up the good work.
Mind in its own place can make heaven of a hell or hell of a heaven. - John Milton